HOPE

I feel sick to my stomach. I am really trying to keep hope alive. I read the audacity of hope by our great president Baraka Obama. It was inspiring it did make me realize that it is not all about the individual involved, it is about the entire world and the way things are done that needs to change that seem impossible  and may not happen in our lifetime, but there is still a need to try and change what ever you can.

So I decided to change myself. I resigned to not talk for one year, not completely shut down my vocal ability but just focus more on listening. The year of listening has ended and I feel more, admired, by my peers and co-workers, more trusted, but not anymore hope. I have had to keep a part-time job for 8.10 an hour for the full year.  I am rather proud of myself vocal self, but I have been called sidity, and I heard the ole' "She think she better than everybody else."

I don't feel specifically hopeful, just a bit more disliked by others. I hope this is not the end of my career/job life.