TIME

<p><h1>Timeline</h1>

In the 1950's and 1970's why didn't all of us that were educated in various fields build and develop a way for our people to have jobs and work and learn from each other so that we could sustain our selves and not have to go to the "white man" for anything? Was that the plan all along?

Maybe, it seems that we tried it, by tackling one thing at a time, with education first. Once we were educated we had to look to affirmative action after so many of us were educated, but could not become gainfully employed at a level high enough to avoid poverty and provide a secure and promising future for our children. Looking for a job was, it seems, the only way to do that. Now, we realize that that may not have been the answer.</p>

Wi-Fi

How is it possible that my own sister won't give me access to her internet connection so I can go online with my own laptop from anywhere necessary?

She said, “No, Just come over here and get on my computer.”

I'll chalk it up to, she doesn't understand how the technology works rather than what kind of sister is she, and she just finished a B.A. Degree. She truly believes she should not do this simple thing. She is obviously one of these people who believe that a computer and it's access to the internet should be, by all means necessary, guarded against.

Since I have a B.S. In computer information systems, I can tell you that her paranoia is overrated.

Is she afraid I might do something dastardly to her, or that somehow, someone, through me will do something like commit identity theft, or drain her bank account, how crass, does she really hate and distrust me instead of loving me?

I love her. If I were her and she was me I would do it for her, maybe she does not believe that.

She attends Church every Sunday and Wednesday night bible study, as well as work for the missionary board. What lack of faith and trust in the Lord she demonstrates, feeling that she has to protect herself from her own sister.

I have never done anything close to a cyber crime and I would never do anything to harm her. I don't understand this kind of thinking from someone who declares love for God almighty.

The way she is behaving towards me feels like a stab in the heart, makes me not want to go near her for fear of feeling like a criminal, not like her sister.

I am puzzled, hurt and dismayed in a way, she is like most people, not like a sister. Most people believe those of us with a lot in life not similar to theirs is just untrustworthy, undeserving of love, just wrong. In many ways she makes me feel she is not sincere about how she sees me. I can't understand why she feels this way.

She has said we were never close, that I treated her awful when we were children. She called me stupid within the last month.

Growing up, I didn't want her to hang around me and my friends, because she would tattle tell everything we did to my mother. We shared a bedroom, talking late into the night until we fell asleep. I was a spoiled child, the oldest and she must have resented that and maybe still does to this day, I guess. She is the baby of the family, I don't think I resented that, maybe a little, but I'm over it, we're just three years apart. We were children long ago.

I asked my cousin, same zodiac sign as my sister, if I could use her internet connection, and she said, “How are you going to use my internet connection and you're there and I'm here?” That told me she doesn't understand Wi-Fi either. I explained, all I needed was her username and password and she actually said “No, I'm not doing that!” I explained it was really no big deal, it would be helping me out.

Do they not realize that I can walk into their homes and get online with my own device, using the signal from their box, that they pay for every month, for free.I worked for the major internet service provider part-time in sales for about six months making me a product knowledge expert. They both were very adamant, and went on to strongly proclaim that they were,“not going to do it,” so I dropped it.

I was thoroughly put off by their behavior and treatment of me. Is it me? am I suppose to understand this from my one and only baby sister and my oldest and dearest cousin, 1^st cousin, my mother's brother's daughter, who incidentally attends Church every Sunday as well.

What do they think can happen if I use the internet connection they pay for every month that allows them to have at least 10 users on their account? Their behavior comes across as selfish, superficial and uncaring showing no love for me, considering my lot in life at the moment.

I suppose what I believe, which is, love always wins over hate, and if you believe in God, then you surely have faith that nothing can harm you in any way that cannot be dealt with in your favor, is not taught at the churches they attend, and the last time I went to church was two weeks ago.

Stupid

What does it mean to say someone or something is stupid. I believe something can be stupid, but someone can do something about it. What I am saying is that someone who is said to be stupid can be helped to change their predicament. I believe in the human ability to change, to improve. 

Something that is stupid can only be fixed, deleted or eliminated, by someone.  I truly hate the word, it is derogatory, it is demeaning, it is a blow to the heart and mind. an iron glove. It is cutting, sharp and strong as the steel that makes a  Hatori Hanso sword. It cuts, it wounds, it debilitates, it destroys. It is a bad word especially when it is said about someone versus being said about something.  

Unbelievable

You won't believe this when I tell you, but maybe you will, maybe this has happened to you too.
I just had a job from October 31, 2016 to May 23, 2017.


Today I am , I just am.

THE GREAT ONE

The Great One has died!
"Man ain't truly happy till man truly dies"..."Oh why"
 Sign of The Times
-Prince

LOVE

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

American African Woman

I’m back at zero again. I just had a job at 8.10 per hour for 1 year, 1 month and 1 week. What is with all the ones? I feel like they must mean something. I cannot help feeling like this is all a plan. Some diabolical , pre-devised outcome set in place by those in charge of coming up with ways to keep me and others like me in a state of limbo or more like a place where we can be maintained, or retained or restrained or contained until we are dead.

Why do they talk so much about the life expectancy of humans in this world, do they need to know how long a person can live? The life expectancy for an American African woman is about 77 years.

  I’m 53 now and I have been looking for work and jobs all my life. The longest I have worked anywhere is three years. I have worked for some of the biggest corporations and once in a government job. All that means is the lies they tell about giving us a chance appears to be true. The fact that these same corporations get a tax work credit for hiring one of us, who are considered low-income,  justifies them and puts a resource in place to use, but never promote and give a real chance at really leaving the low-income behind, yet they say they are giving back.

“So if we take 90% to the low- income status and keep them there, they will only drain the pockets of the rest of us by 7% over their lifetime.”  

This is why we never wanted to accept welfare or handouts they called it, because it is as if once you are in there, they got you for life.

 So they come out with reports that say things like: if you exercise, eat right, reduce stress, visit a physician regularly, are happy and have a spouse etc. etc. etc… the parameters are specific to only some not all.
Demographics are the starting point of course that includes age, race, income and so forth. These are the controls that give the power to create ways to stifle us. What do you think BIG DATA is really about?

Who has a husband, I haven’t had a man in the last five years for longer than a hour long interaction because we both thought we needed a fuck because we happen to have had a child together over ten years ago.  It was disappointing as always and for a week after I was uncomfortably sore. I didn’t truly enjoy it, but I had missed it so long that I thought I needed it.

Health, sex and relations between each other are important for longevity.  Now we have more and more women and men willing to try same sex relations to get a chance to feel what a relationship is like, if not they may never experience that part of life at all. So our men are killed, jailed and out of touch unable to form a relationship any longer. The health of us is detrimental as well and cut deep into that expectancy of longevity because if you are lonely, sad and low-income you have a shorter life.

 And about that, I guess I need to say that what I believe is going on is that those like me who are profiled as low-income American Africans, … I hate the use of “black” to describe a people because black is a color like chartreuse or orange or blue. As for the African part most of us have no clue that this part of us explains a lot about what we do.  

 Incomes like mine that have somehow become standard hourly 8.00 and 10K or less yearly are going to fall in place and eventually die off.

 I would go as far to predict… for as long as we worked in this land for free it will take maybe half as long to get rid of all of us entirely, in this land anyway.  There is a working plan set in place and I will prove it.